ret·ro·spect
I’m not a fan of the past, but this year’s end will be different. Here’s a look on the year that was.
2018.
A lot of things happened and I still can’t believe that so much changed within a span of a single year.
The first half of this year is both tears of failure and jumps of joy. It was a roller coaster ride, I failed Capstone and I broke down to pieces, it gave me a lingering pain that a person can feel only once in his life. It’s a pain that one can remember yet I faced it, we faced it. Not too valiant but with the aid of others, I was able to pass it finally when the chance was given. It humbled me, it made me realize that I am weak and that I can ask for help. The gratitude that I’m feeling even up to this day towards the people that helped me all the way through that challenge is so great that it still makes me smile. I was able to graduate on time. It wasn’t as joyful as what I expected but it is still great in a way or two. Maybe it’s because of all the failures that I had to take. It robbed me of the delight of success, or at least only in that moment.
I wasn’t able to go places or enjoy vacation with my friends because I don’t have the chance to. In addition, when I came back to BotBros for my internship, people from my batch are already leaving. The feeling of not being able to say goodbye properly to them was painful to me. And when it was my time to leave, I can’t imagine how will I survive in the wild yet a door was opened before me. A new path to tread, which lead me to a place now I can easily call my second home.
I was given a job offer by the same company that made me fall in love with coding. It was a huge risk since it’s definitely on my terms, that place is my comfort zone, but I immediately took that chance. I did not try to question myself, I knew what I want and I took it.
And here I am today, still with the same company, still struggling but with faith and proper mindset, I’m ready to face the upcoming challenges next year. What I have is a family that have my back and will face the looming risks and problems with me. This family changed me to become more mature, to face humility, to admit that I’m not always right and that I can also make mistakes.
To my college batchmates, especially to those that faced the same challenges as mine. I know you’re still having a hard time. I know that you’re still struggling, still asking yourself questions, still doubting your own skills, and still having a hard time sleeping at night sometimes. But you should look back, and you’ll be surprised how much you’ve changed and improved. You should be proud of yourself.
Still having issues with it? Here’s a recap.
This year, you passed your final requirement in college, your thesis.
This year, you graduated and made your parents/guardians proud.
This year, you got hired. You’re still struggling but let me remind you, it’s just your first year, don’t rush.
This year, you’re still alive and kicking you lucky bastard. You’re blessed, and you’re not alone.
Lots of pain, lots of sacrifices, but we did it.
Thanks to the people that kept me going. I would love to mention you guys but that would make this post even more cheesy haha.